I was getting excited on my first day of 2009. My pals here checked the roster for me because, somehow, my computer ended up in 21st century, therefore after that night out I couldn’t check my timetables from the comfort of my own bed. So they told me I was Deadheading to KUL yesterday (I’m in KL right now). I seemed plausible as the roster only showed 4 of us in comparison to a normal flight with 16 crew.
Well it turns out I was operating over with one set of crew, then operating back on a different team. I had prepared my paxing gear and all in my jacket holder and colleagues were asking why it was looking so big, then I told them I thought I was DH over, thus the tee-shirt and jeans along with my service jacket… But of course I didn’t experience the deadheading. Instead greeted by a mile long economy cabin (B777-300 2 class). And the sight of that cabin from the front is desastrous. It holds around 400 passengers. And knowing the usual loads on KUL flights, I was expecting an easy service. On minimum rest because I thought I was going to catch up in that lie-flat seat…. But we did a pretty good job, very organized and quick. The first service lasted for 2 and a half hours. Seems extremely long but serving 400 passengers with a 9 step routine can take long :
- “Cocktail” / Bar cart with savoury snacks
- Clearance Cart to pick up the rubbish
- Special Meals
- Meal carts
- Followed closely by Bars.
- Tea
- Coffee
- Clearance Cart to pick up the trays
- Final Clearance
As we know, every penny of your ticket counts, so this is why we’re back shortly after with a snack cart, including fruits, chocolates and hot wraps with juices or water. This service is called “As You Like It”. It’s one of the trickiest because it is so tempting for customers to just pick from every basket. But with 400 pax to serve, you really have to be carefull and keep a good selection for those further down the aisle, or you’re in for some greedy looks.
In between those two services, there’s that symphony of call bells. We answer all of them, it’s one of the many service standards Emirates is proud of. But please teach your kids not to play with it all flight long. I know, it makes a cool noise and a light bulb lights up above your head, but walking all the way up there to find out Kevin* is having an almighty time playing with the remote control and pressing every single button (also driving Mum aloof because he’s also pressing the reading lights on and off) is not cool for other passengers that might have something to ask or a more serious problem.
As it happens, Kevin was seated right next to a Businessman. I could see him being very annoyed with him. At one point I was in the aisle with a full cart of trays… waiting for the cart in front of me to finish. I was checking the cabin around and then locked with the businessman. His stare sweated with despare. He was trying to focus on his Financial Times but somehow had to flick one side of it towards the inside every minute to check if Kevin didn’t spill anything on his laps or “accidently” left a potatoe wedge in between his legs. He looked at me with that exhausted face. I smiled back in empathy. If the flight had seats available, I was going to shift him somewhere more peaceful (another bulkhead, most likely with “story-telling” Jennifer), but unfortunately for him that day, I couldn’t. I did bring him some ear-plugs and eye-shades so he could do the ostridge and ignore the mayhem happening in his vicinity.
We arrived in KUL on time. Straight to the hotel for some sleep. I have 49 hours here. Will let you know what I’ve been up to. Don’t expect too much thought. I will be shopping for headphones as I was dumb enough to forget them on the aircraft on our way to London Deathrow the other day !
Until then, peace out !
* Kevin : a generic kids name, I will refer to Kevin everytime I have to talk about kids on-board. It seems every single kid on my flights are called Kevin. And Kevin, for me, automatically relates to that little devil of a nuisance.
I’d much rather deal with kids on board than having one ram into my legs with those roller shoes in the mall! Whoever invented those should really be shot.
ahah yeah those are real public dangers.
I’ve had two experiences (won’t mention the airlines) where I have asked the crew member, to have the kid keep quiet or stop kicking the seat from behind. I was kindly told “Sir you would need to address the issue first with the parent” (and I’m assuming if it persisted the cabin crew member would intervene).
Kevin, please, shut up, seat down and have some sleep!! Man, you do an amazing job writing these stories. I hope some day I could write some working for Emirates. Have a nice day in KL!
Jesus from Spain.
Flew with one of the Kevins of the world out of Osaka. Made my already tiring day all the more tiring!
Like Kevin, in Home Alone?
Yeah I had him in mind, but he’s a little older, think of Macaulay Culkin meets Sponge Bob and Daredevil…
Yeah all we can do is ask. If mum/dad are useless and/or don’t care then there’s not much we can do short of giving you earplugs and/or the kid valium (lol just kidding on the valium)
Sometimes I wish we could though.
Airboy, let’s not forget ‘Kevin’ from the Home Alone movie, coming up with ingenious ways to torture others.
Thank god the airbus has chime inhibit… not meant to use but of course in those cases of ding-ding-ding-ding-ding x12 hours then of course it’s warranted!!
M, it is not really the crew members responsibility to discipline a child, especially when the parent is right there next to the child. We are not trained and hired babysitters, however I have been a live in nanny and a teacher, can you imagine what hell could break loose if you were instructing a child in front of their guardian?
In my opinion, i would address the parent on behalf of yourself, and kindly ask them to get their child to behave as some other passengers are finding it hard to rest. I would then also find some way to help keep the child occupied (activity packs, give them a tour if time allows – not usually, select a movie or show them the computer games. Usually works and more often than not, the parents are more embarrassed than anything (ok not always true!)
Melissa….totally agree with you on that one! They drive me mental!!!!
There’s no SOP for that issue, the use of common sense is required. And the best way for me is to ask if I can take the kid for a tour, of course it implies “your kid is being too loud, can I please take him away for a few minutes ?” and usually the parents don’t refuse that kind of service. It’s one less thing to worry about !
And the 3 seconds rule applies whatever the activity… that comic strip is sooo true !
On an A320 I once had two kids behind me on either side of the aisle, one trying to outbeat the other in terms of screaming and I could tell even though I had ear plugs on. (Well I have my ear plugs on as soon as we board to the time we deplane). I needed to get away so I used the excuse to use the washroom to move to the back. The mother of one kid was asleep near the window (how she achieved that feat is beyond me) and the father read his newspaper, while little Kevin continued to scream from the middle seat. Then there was this commotion from the seats behind them as little Kevin suddenly appeared in those seats. He had crawled from underneath his own seat into the seats behind. Imagine if turbulence had to hit at the very moment. But then little Kevin wouldn’t have been hurled to the ceiling because he would have been pretty safe under the seat he should have otherwise been strapped in!!
Once flying from US back to NRT I had to deal with a Chinese Kevin seating behind me. Fortunately, that was the last time.
Now I’m wondering what kind of passengers I’ll have to deal with, in case I passed the FI, of course (6 weeks wainting for the call isn’t normal, right?)
when i was a kid, i was flight attendant’s sweetheart!!
maybe because i often travelled alone as “UM”,
i remember the good old days the FA gave me unlimited amount of attention,
bottomless sodas, countless bags of snacks, chocolates and candies!! and those kids goodie bags complete with toys, playing cards, teddy bear, coloring books and small board games. remember i was flying alone.. and my parents didn’t allow me to eat all those sweets! i was quiet sweet little kid to take care of. lol.
those days are gone as i grew older!! wanna be little “kevin” again,…..