I’m currently nursing my pot noodles and I’m about to dig in the curry goodness. But while the water boils I thought I’d take it to the blog and write about what went down in Lagos, Nigeria. As you may know from the few previous posts, this destination within the Emirates network is unique in it’s kind. Koreans dread it. Mainly due to the Tss Tss Tssing going on. But once you overcome the hisssssing deal, and you take it as a “Sir, could I have {insert requested item}, thank you you’re a good man” the flight becomes a hell a lot more enjoyable. To the point I even made flight long friends with what looked like a war lord or somekind of mafia king. No bad intentions here but this is just the feeling I had about that person. He was travelling with his wife and was blinged from top to toe. No joke, this guy probably had twelve pounds of the most hidious icies and was dripping gold jewelry as I never seen before. Not mentioning the rare stones on each of his 9 fingers… and the fake-ish designer labels he was sporting loud and proud. Nigerians are, once you dig a little and take the time to speak to them, the funniest passengers I’ve come across. I heard stories in the span of 6 hours that you could only dream of. From girlfriend records to not so blogworthy discussions… via life in Nigeria aswell as ‘why this’ and ‘why that’ kinda chat. Very interesting indeed.
Boarding was hectic. And we were briefed. But the sheer amount of stuff these people can bring on is unthinkable by usual european standards. The amount of carry-ons one will board with will definately give a heart attack to a AA Flight Attendant [wink]… In comparison, Bombays are a right laugh. The problem is not the passengers, it’s the restrictions not being applied at check-in. Ground Staff do not – and we witness this daily – apply the rules. It’s obvious ! The result being another late departure from DXB. All of our stowages came in very handy, even the cart stowages and our crew compartements were used. Can I also add that the more you pack into those wheelies, the more difficult it will be FOR YOU to lift it and stow it in the overhead bins ! Be smart, check it ! I haven’t chosen this job to brake my little back because some wise people decided to buy bricks at Dubai Duty Free. As cheap as they might be, you’ll be the one putting that bag up there. Sure I’ll tell you where to stow it but I’ll watch you do the magic !
Once they were all seated, everyone started to calm down. We were on our way. As mentioned above, the service was easy, straightforward and enjoyable… Spent time in each cabin, gossiping with everyone as a normal crew would do. Went to the cockpit for some peace and came back a little later to finish off the flight.
We arrived safely and all in a good spirit.
Now Lagos Airport is something by itself. The second you step on the aerobridge, you know you’re in for chaos. And it is complete chaos. Ok, it’s a dated airport, I’ll give you that. But who on earth decided to call satellites/boarding lounges “fingers” ???? I laughed out very loud as I read those signs ! “Fingers, they call those fingers !! Can you believe it !” I blared. The rest of the crew staring at me with some weird looks, until I explained myself and they understood what I was going on about. Then this was the blabber until we cleared customs “OOh guys, here’s ‘M Finger’ !”, imagine the PAs : “Ladies and Gentlemen, boarding has started at gate 18 in Finger D for flight EK434, please proceed”… Does take much to entertain a Cabin Crew…. you might say. Well it’s true, remember the joke : How many flight attendants does it take to change a lightbulb ?*. Customs is a joke too, we signed a guestbook, and we were flying to the baggage claim where it was heaving. 2 belts for God knows how many inbound flights. But some porter had ours ready on the side and keeping a close eye on them.
Transit is a story in itself but I’ll incorporated here. Lagos and Nigeria in general is not the safest place on earth, it’s not paradise and crime is common. Since some British Airways crew got mugged in their shuttle a few years back by armed men, causing a diplomatic havoc, they have implemented a rather unusual ride to the hotel. We basically get escorted by heavily armed men (complete with uniform and AK-47s) an opening SUV racing through the traffic, and followed by another SUV making sure no cars come too close to the bus. I loved that ride. For once I felt like Obama and it’s secret service Escalades. We jumped lanes, those SUVs had police sirens and were stopping traffic for us to get through. I never had such a quick shuttle from airport to hotel in my little crew career ! We also had a funny ‘Commander’ briefing us just before we left the airport. SO much for living on the edge, it made my layover that much more entertaining… We live dangerously, and I heart it ! ahah. I really felt like in Miami Vice for 15 minutes !
This is a WPSimpleViewerGallery
My stay at the hotel was uneventful and full a little surprises. I had brought my laptop, as I always do to keep track of emails and blog if I felt the urge to. But I wasn’t in top shape because I didn’t sleep as much the night prior to leaving Dubai for Lagos. So I mainly used the layover to catch up on some sleep. Also knowing we cannot leave the hotel grounds and go sightseeing, due to the relative lack of security outside. I snoozed away as soon as I arrived in my bedroom. The only problem with that is you wake up in the middle of the night. Leaving you nearly begging for something to eat but the choices are very limited. And I was soon to discover my mistake…
I had ordered a Club Sandwich from room service. Anthony, from the blog “I Only Fly First“, had carefully warned me about the food there and it’s standards but I was in deep hunger and couldn’t resist trying out another Club. So I did and I will not make the same mistake again. The only stuff edible on the plate they had delivered were the french fries. The rest, including coleslaw, sandwich and salad was astonishingly disgusting. Pardon my crudeness but it was horrible. They had advertised ‘Bacon’ on the menu but it was nowhere to be seen on that plate. The chicken was processed, how dare they ? The bread was soaked in humidity and the lettuce was far away from looking like a decent lettuce. I grumbled and only ate the fries. Other than that, the room was far from being nice. Old and uncared for to say the least. Staff were great on the other hand. OOOh I nearly forgot to mention the multiple power cuts during the night. Leaving my Macbook stranded for juice, and me for internet ! How dare they ?
In other news, my upgrade as been rejected because of the current “economic climate” as they state. So I’ll be stuck in Economy for quite some time, or maybe will Dubai bail us out ?? Hard to imagine. I’ll play around with my mere seniority and get the flight that I want in the meantime.
Wow, this is a long post. I’ll leave it here until the next time. Note that most of the pictures were found on Flickr and I mixed some of mine in the whole thing. My two next trips will be Paris (CDG) and I’m excited about them as you can imagine !
Until next time fools, peace out !
*answer to the joke : 100. 1 to actually change the lightbulb, and 99 to bitch about it !
he he he… I still laugh at that joke!!!
Omg those old planes in the photo are the early version of what I used to fly… but mine were so much nicer!!!
Seeing those planes I’m taking back my airbus statements any day !
Wow sounds like such an exciting trip, especially the transport to the hotel!
Makes the average crew bus journey sound soooo boring!
Wait until you do a Perth flight, they weigh everyones carry ons so it’s under 7kg! A dream I tell you! That AA flight attendant quip was very cheeky!
not too cool about the carry on luggage comment. ok, in my experience people going to third world countries generally take everything including the kitchen sink, but we check-in agents have to weigh carry on, which should only be 1 at 7kg. but unfortunately there are usually other bags away from check-in that pax lie about, espicially now that the 20kg checked luggage rule is soo strictly enforced. maybe carry on isnt so strictly enforced in other ports, but where i live we do, and we get alot of shit from the pax about it.
Another excellent read! Thank you
. You definitely have a career waiting for you in web page designing and being a travel writer, someday maybe merging the two to have your own online Lonely Planet type edition.
Must be terribly scary to be escorted to the hotel, that way! Yes you had your Obama moment. Interesting to read about the blinged man on board
. Nigeria currently is one of the African nations experiencing the economic boom (well at least until the recent economic doom took over).
As far as carry on & checked baggage nobody enforces that more than airports in the US and Canada. 1 kg excess and you have to take it out. Yes those going to third world countries do generally take all the department stores with them, which lands up with them (including myself) on bended knee in front of the counter, scrambling at the last minute to leave some stuff behind, or paying for an additional bag. But no overweight bag checked or carry on will be allowed on board without paying the penalty.
However in Dubai, when in transit, I was encouraged to spend $100US at the duty free and get a free duffel bag, which when filled with all the contents of my shopping weighed more than 15-18kgs AND was allowed on board, along with the original 7kg carry on baggage out of Canada, which had also increased to 10kgs or more. So here was I dragging, kicking, pushing these two bags (would not be caught doing that back in the US & Canada) onto the plane which combined was the weight of my one of my two 23kg suitcase already on the plane
For those large carry on baggage on board, you have no one but Dubai Duty Free to blame 
Straight from the horse’s mouth ! : a DDF shopper says it himself lolol ! Thanks for this M.
B, It’s just a statement about Dubai Airport check in policies, they do have restrictions but very rarely applied as we see pax coming onboard with all sorts of oversized luggage. The craziest thing I saw so far was 3 complete sets of pans and dishes all of them in boxes to big to fit in the hatracks. Not to mention the wheelies packed with gold that passengers want to keep nearby in case someone opens them.
Well, it’s true..you need to know that DDF (as you call it) is the reason for those overweight bags LOL. So don’t blame the poor pax, blame the Duty Free!!
Would be appropriate to mention Arik Air, Nigeria’s new airline that recently began flights to London Heathrow using Airbus A340-500s!!
http://www.arikair.com/
Mel, I *heart* the dude in Perth, you’ll know the one I mean, he’s a machine! I once watched him stop the same lady no less than 5 times…
I wish they did that at Domestic as well!!!
I loved your post! So, if I understanf correctly, the fun part of this flight is when you are being escorted from the airport to the hotel by armed men. I would probably find that exciting too. However I think i will be scared to sleep in the hotel
I dont wanna go there! LOL
Your Club Sandwich experience is hilarious…I mean, it must have upset you on the spot, but its kind of funny since you are an expert club sandwich connaisseur.
later!
Very, very interesting….