Before I go on and rant about this dreamy place I just went to. I’ll bore you for a few minutes more and let you all know that I finally paid a visit to the Palm Jumeirah and its now famous Atlantis resort. Earlier on last year (November 4th I think) they opened the place with the biggest firework display ever attempted and managed to pull it off very nicely. The whole man-made island was the set for the gigantic display. Drowned in bangs and pools of lights. I wasn’t there for the opening night nor Kylie’s gig. I didn’t pay too much attention to this part of town until Fred, a french friend of ours who’s GF owns a car decided to take us for some grubs at Johnny Rocket’s (old fashion style burger joint) and then took us all the way to the Palm for some sightseeing.
We fooled along Jumeirah 2 (the coastal highway here in Dubai) and enjoyed loud music, waving like idots through the windows and happilly strolled towards Atlantis. We got there and couldn’t believe our eyes. Everything is the bloody same. Just a huge place with council housing for millionaires. Just the sort of place I would be happy avoiding anytime. No wonder Vicky Beckham and her hubby brought a place there. It is the perfect place for any rich chav/chavette. Anyway, we carried on and got into the underwater tunnel that leads to the resort. The actual hotel is very nice from the outside. It blends in very nicely with the crazy architecture already around Dubai. We parked, snapped a few pictures and decided to check out the inside. We were not complying with the dress code. At all. Some of us sporting tracksuits (straight from the gym session, not me of course) and others in skanky shorts and flip flops (that was me). But we didn’t give a flying crap because we soon realised the kind of obnoxious russian twats we were to be exposed to. And I was right. We came across a few of them, looking down on us like we were just a pile of dung. Nonetheless we continued our tour, dissing every fake piece of semi-art/non-art on display inside this place. Everything is over the top and tacky. Nothing really authentic and pleasing. It’s also an overdose in color. IKEA would of done a great job designing that place, but instead they decided to hire the worst interior designer possible, and pay him an incredible amount for it. The result is…. I nearly vomitted over each wall, ceiling and floor. It wouldn’t have made an inch of a difference if I did actually puke. That’s how horrid the place looked. I do not understand the people who spend money to stay there. Complete fools. The same fools that like their own fart and enjoy swirling around in it.
We saw the aquarium and the mega shark stagnating in it. It looks very small for a fish that size ! Here are some pictures. Make an opinion for yourself… I also included a few random snaps from Ikea. Just for the sake of having them there !
I forgot to mention the fact that after nearly a year in Dubai, I had never ventured further than the lobby in Shangri-La hotel (situated 3 minutes away by foot from where I stay). Gregory, Tall Ben and myself treated ourselves to a Marrocan restaurant in there. First time we went back after our Graduation Dinner. We got in there and some french friends were already there (we did not expect them at all), so we merged on a bigger table and ate finely. We had to finish off the night with a cheecha and headed for the iKandi bar located in the pool area of the hotel. Very loungy , Very posh. Great night there with Wahid, Ahmed, Mehdi and Sonia. Cool music in the background. I passed out on beer there, so decided to hit the sack.
This is a WPSimpleViewerGallery
Now onto Mauritius. I had been waiting for a long while for that trip and was happy to finally board the red-eye over the Indian Ocean. The flight over was very exciting and full of stories. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to disclose any of the crazy bits and pieces as I’ve had a briefing about it and asked not to divulgate any information. However, I will make you dribble over the pictures and the hella good time I had there. As always with Mauritius.
So after a flight like the one we had, we had to relax. And the best place to be was where we ended up. A golf resort and spa on the other side of the island. The shuttle took 50 minutes to reach the hotel. We all yapped away and bonded fairly quickly. Including the techies who had never seen a crew having so much fun in a shuttle before. Usually on the bus to the hotel, the iPod PREVAILS. Not this time. Discussing the flight, the pax, the layover ahead and what not. All the jokes that fused in that 50 minutes were beyond belief and we got out of the thing laughing our heads off.
We were greeted by the staff there. Notorious for being rude but at first encounter seemed genuinely polite and welcoming. We were soon to discover the dark side….
We had a rather light breakfast followed by a 15 minute briefing from our hosts on what we could eat, what we couln’t eat, when we could eat, when we could not eat, what we could drink and what we couldn’t and so on. It was like entering a military summer camp. We were looking at each other laughing at each rule being announced. Of course we didn’t pick up any of it because we were too busy digging in our Pain Au Chocolat, Croissants and juice. At the end of the briefing, the last words that stook in my mind were :
“There’s a booklet with all the information about what I’ve just said… YOU ARE REQUESTED TO READ IT AND AVOID CALLING US AT RECEPTION FOR ENQUIRIES”
That just blew my weary mind. Not only do we get fed up with briefings, but requesting your guests to read a leaflet that says when I HAVE TO EAT and WHAT I HAVE TO EAT is the least of things I want to be burdoned with after a flight. Just too much information to take on.
Nevermind, I just ignored the whole woohaaa and plethor of timings for dinner/lunch and ran away to my room. We were staying in an amazing place, don’t get me wrong. Probably a 5 star joint. Didn’t check but was pretty sure it was. The place was magical. Lush greens all over the place, white 2 storey houses with views on the garden from every single room, a few steps from the white sands, 24 degree water and comfortable deckchairs. It didn’t take long for me to dip into the sea. The rooms themselves were a destination ! The victorian style bedroom were real nice. bathroom was huge with amazonian shower heads and a awesome view from the bathtub towards the garden. Loved it to bits !
But before that I had to get some SPF 40 or above to avoid the injuries I sustained the previous trip to Mauritius. If you’re a long time reader you’ll remember my ordeal with peeling skin (by square inches at a time) and my awful trip back to Dubai that time. I was hoping over to the beach boutique and spent a staggering 29 euros for a little spray bottle. I’m usually very good at spending but SPF 6 is not enough in this part of the world, so I had to basically. I learnt this lesson the hard way !
After that I was all kitted out for the beach, camera, iPod, sunblock and bathing suit. Spotted a nice corner with sunbeds and passed out for the rest of the afternoon there. Diving in every hour to cool off and spreading cream every so often. I was joined later on by the whole crew and we yapped away all afternoon. Just as amazed as when we first arrived.
We all agreed to have drinks at the Cavendish bar which was, according to the front sign, founded in 1837. Beautiful place, again, with amazing cocktails on offer. I went for a Cucumber, mint, crushed ice, tonic and Gin mix. I dribble after every sip. The blend was just perfect. Cucumber after taste and twist of Gin here and there. It’s definately going up there in my best cocktail top 10. So easy to make too. We were all red by that time. Barmen were laughing at us from behind the counter. Speaking in French, of which I caught. But they of course didn’t notice I spoke the language and joked with them. Never make fun of your customers in front of them. One of them might just pick up the language and you’d be in an uncomfortable position !
After a few drinks we headed for dinner. Nothing too amazing there as we were forced to eat the three course menu they had chosen for us. So much for discover local food and specialties. The rest of the layover was spent lazing around the beach, with beer, coca-colas, pizzas and iPods. Check out the pictures below, it’s worth more than a thousand words… And to set the mood in the right tone, here a whole live gig from Amy Winehouse people have been requesting a lot for the past few weeks. Make sure to download the whole batch as it is one of her best performances in her career. She was “sober” at that time :
Amy Winehouse - Just Friends (live Paradiso - Amsterdam) (4.7 MiB, 47 hits)
You need to be a registered user to download this file.
- Amy Winehouse -Tears Dry On Their Own (live Paradiso - Amsterdam) (4.9 MiB, 43 hits)
You need to be a registered user to download this file.
- Amy Winehouse - Cherry (live Paradiso - Amsterdam) (4.0 MiB, 41 hits)
You need to be a registered user to download this file.
- Amy Winehouse - Fuck Me Pumps (live Paradiso - Amsterdam) (5.1 MiB, 44 hits)
You need to be a registered user to download this file.
- Amy Winehouse - He Can Only Hold Her/That Thing (live Paradiso - Amsterdam) (5.4 MiB, 40 hits)
You need to be a registered user to download this file.
- Amy Winehouse - Cupid [Airboy's Bonus Track] (4.0 MiB, 52 hits)
You need to be a registered user to download this file.
- Amy Winehouse - I Heard Love Is Blind (live Paradiso - Amsterdam) (4.6 MiB, 38 hits)
You need to be a registered user to download this file.
- Amy Winehouse - Hey Little Rich Girl (live Paradiso - Amsterdam) (4.2 MiB, 43 hits)
You need to be a registered user to download this file.
- Amy Winehouse - Wake Up Alone (live Paradiso - Amsterdam) (5.9 MiB, 42 hits)
You need to be a registered user to download this file.
- Amy Winehouse - Back To Black (live Paradiso - Amsterdam) (5.7 MiB, 49 hits)
You need to be a registered user to download this file.
- Amy Winehouse - You Know That I'm No Good (live Paradiso - Amsterdam) (6.2 MiB, 49 hits)
You need to be a registered user to download this file.
- Amy Winehouse - Monkey Man (live Paradiso - Amsterdam) (3.7 MiB, 42 hits)
You need to be a registered user to download this file.
- Amy Winehouse - Love Is A Losing Game (live Paradiso - Amsterdam) (4.1 MiB, 58 hits)
You need to be a registered user to download this file.
- Amy Winehouse - Valerie (live Paradiso - Amsterdam) (4.1 MiB, 50 hits)
You need to be a registered user to download this file.
- Amy Winehouse - Rehab (live Paradiso - Amsterdam) (5.2 MiB, 72 hits)
You need to be a registered user to download this file.
This is a WPSimpleViewerGallery
I have another two of those in the very near future so I’m absolutely thrilled. In the meantime I will have to head to Bombay. It says it all.
Peace out all. Hope you’re well wherever you may be !
PS : You’ll like this blogger : An Englishman in Dubai | He’s one of the most popular Dubai based bloggers out there and just made the move over to Wordpress ! Kudos to him ahah !
[...] reading… « Holy Crap. I woke up before midday !! | Previous Post Next Post | Airboy does Mauritius in 2009 / Atlantis Resort in Dubai [...]
Life is so hard for you lol
Hi!
I think Atlantis is so superglitter because of it’s name and main theme. If you think to the legends and ideas of Atlantis’ richness, style and décor, you will understand why Atlantis Hotel is so kitschy.
“Wish you were here”-photo is great!
z
The place has no feel to it, and I have only been in the lobby/mall/aquarium to experience that. I do not want to imagine what the rooms are like : animated mermaid anyone ??
I understand the whole theme package and what they wanted to create there, but why not do it a little more subtil. Less “in your face, I have plenty-of-cash-and-I-want-yours” kinda deco…
That’s just my two cents.
They need to let that whale out and soon! Those are endangered creatures, I can’t believe the owners are so greedy as to think it will make them money and let this creature suffer. It will die from sadness at being kept in that tiny tank
Love the photo of the little red bird! And what’s with the hotel and all their rules?
And to think you have two more of these coming up! As Clauderic says “Life is so hard for you” LOL
Yeah I know, life’s a b****. But we defo deserved a good layover after that flight ! Everyone will agree !
“Never make fun of your customers in front of them. One of them might just pick up the language and you’d be in an uncomfortable position !”
- So true, It happens to me all the time. I’m Filipino and sales staff always confuse me for being Thai or Chinese. I do sometimes confront them, when what they say is really bad.
Unfortunately for some a good layover is not even in the works, after a hard day’s work LOL
hey, your so lucky. i want to do all those things too:(