Geeez, where do I start ?! It’s seems like a decade since I blogged something. Time just flies by so quickly. Been super busy and super tired. Since I last updated the blog I went to Kuala Lumpur (Malaysia), Tripoli (Libya), Tunis (Tunisia), Chennai (India) and heading to my beloved monthly Bombay/Mumbai very soon. Hey one question out of the blue, just for my general knowledge… Why is that many Indian cities changed their names lately ?? Bombay is now Mumbai and Madras became Chennai ?? I’m curious. But before you carry on reading, please do take the time to download the new bunch of tunes I gathered for your eargasms… Click on the image left to head to the MP3s or use the box below to play/share/download at your will :

Anyway, rewind a little and lets go back to my Kuala Lumpur trip. I was bound there with a friend named Manu (whom I met at Zinc through a another french friend of mine, Chloe) and Richard’s (a funky italian batchmate, recently dishonored for having moved over to A380) girlfriend, Fardiana. We had a blast firing jokes and speaking basic Tagalog to each other. I’m getting better and better with time, here’s what I managed to gather within the trip (correct me if I’m wrong) :

• Gaga (Bitch) / Gago (Bastard)
• Natatae Ako (I need the bogs for a pile)
• Putang Enamo (some very bad swear word here, innapropriate for the blog)…

And some other basic get around sentences that could be useful for my next Manilla layover. The trip started on a good note with an entertaining briefing, complete with team building exercises such as hand clapping, and the general colleague bonding type of nonsense. It was great cause it had set the mood for the terrible flight we were to have later on.

So yeah, we boarded, did our stuff, safety and security check, the boarding and so forth. By the time we handed out the hot towels, a mother felt unwell and decided to off-load herself along with the rest of her rather large family. That was a God given gift to me because I was having a hard time trying to arrange some seating for a family that was promised neighbouring seats by ground staff : the lesson here, NEVER EVER EVER EVER trust ground staff until you actually see your boarding pass and the seats you’re in. But this smala of sixteen individuals trusted the overworked, overstressed check-in agent and went with the flow until they reached the aircraft, and ultimately reached…. me. They were in my area, the 4 year old Kevin separated by like 20 rows from any parental authority. The sister on the other side of the cabin and already being an nuisance. A little later, the father came up to me to arrange something. I did my thang. Told him I would but his family on my priority list (they like hearing that kind of stuff). So when that family finally offloaded I shifted some lonely Skywards business travellers – against a few toothbrushes, an aisle seat and Champagne promise – to those free seats and ultimately reunited the flock.

Ran to the back galley to get myself a drink because I was on the verge of dehydration after thinking so much about seats and rows… and a lady grabbed my pants and pulled me right back to her seat. She confessed :

“I’m running away from my husband. I haven’t slept in a week. He’s supposed to come back tomorrow and he won’t find me home. I’m afraid. What should I do ? I also have palpitations as a result.”

I didn’t know what to say at that point. So kneeled down and asked open questions (LEAP technique fellas!). She continues :

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to be flying. Can I offload myself ?”

I was baffled. Two separate offloads on the same flight ! Something suspicious ! So called Senior over to deal with the situation while we take care of the passenger in the back galley. We were already 1 hour and a half late, because an offload means looking for specific bags in cargo and it takes quite a long time. We finally got her off, just for sanity because having such case of a 7 hour flight isn’t an option. She could just turn out to be crazy as hell and cause quite some trouble. I’d rather be 2 hours late than having to deal with a nutcase at 36000 ft, if you ask my humble opinion.

It was all good spirits round the cabin, the funny briefing was partly to blame. We all had smiles on our faces and the prospect of a nice fresh beer later on in Kuala Lumpur was enough to get us going. Doesn’t take much to satisfy us Cabin Crew….

We finally made it to KL and arranged for some meet up in the lobby before we headed to the Beach Club/Bar round the corner from the hotel. We ordered giant beer towers for us to share and had a good laugh yapping away about the day we had just gone through (here pictured is Manu and Fardiana) :

Few hours later I headed back to the hotel feeling a little tipsy. Had a good sleep for the return leg. We also had a lot of fun because half the crew was Filipino and they sure know how to have a good laugh (as opposed to serious Korean cabin crew, no offense boys and girls !).

Back in the sandpit without any internet still and nothing more to do than to decorate the new flat we’re in. Oh !! And I went to Zinc right after that Kuala Lumpur return sector just to flake things off and pay tribute to THE KING OF POP, namely, Michael Jackson. Had a blast with Oz and Oli as well as Manu who promised me he wouldn’t be there ! Clauderic was also part of the gang but was too busy bursting out weird moves on the dancefloor. Arms waving all around him. Seemed like he was high on sumethin’ or nuthin’.

So yeah we finally got my gigantic Eiffel Tower up in the dining room after much debate on how to hang it, where etc etc. We’re so darn cheap we went for kitchen cloths hooks, about a dozen of them to hang this huge picture. We can’t actually use nails because Company Accommodation wouldn’t let us in case we hammer in the electrical circuits or piping in the walls (don’t laugh, it has actually happened before… !) so here’s the result, I also have video of how we got that result. Soon to be published. I just need to get round the editing part of the thing… Also been indulging myself with some Extras (Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant series), hilarity it is ! Hilarity. Especially the episode with Kate Winslet. I can only strongly recommend the DVD set if you haven’t got it already…

I’m happy with the results. We also have a wall of clocks with different time zones so we never make the mistake of calling Mum and Dad at unholy hours of the morning with us realising.

Here’s a photo album for the past few weeks… :

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Otherwise, I have had BrotherOfSodwee on the phone recently, he’s planning on returning to good ol’ France by the end of August, just in time for his 21st birthday. And he’s asked me to try and get him some cheap tickets from anywhere in Australia. But the loads being full all through summer it’s gonna be a tough one. I might have an opening out of Melbourne so he might have to travel there first and give it a go. I’m happy because he might have a stopover in Dubai just at the begining of my holidays, meaning we could fly together over to Paris for his birthday ! Can’t wait to see him it’s been a whole year and it’s getting uber-long !.

In other news we have a new Laviators, a United Airline Flight Attendant named Oscar and Krysta flying out to Las Vegas…

Krysta says : “On my way to Las Vegas (hence the feather boa)… after discovering that it was my birthday, the flight attendant brought me a complimentary birthday drink… a bit of a tipsy flight for me!”

Maybe you want to join ? There’s nothing easier ! A little imagination will take you far. Grab your camera, sneak it into the lavs along with your favourite tabloid and get crazy in there ! The funnier the better ! There’s a bunch of props on hand, for free, to play around with. Seat covers, tissues, sick bags, tooth brushes… just to give you ideas… Then head over to the LAVIATORS CLUB and send me your picture or fill out the form below. Here are all the laviators so far :

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Already got a picture of yourself locked in the cleanest of all LAVS ? Send it to me now using this form :